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Learning to accept myself

Discussion in 'Share Your Story' started by Day Nicole, Aug 7, 2017.

  1. Hi all, I'm new on here and new to the whole "body positive" thing. Since a young age, I've struggled with feeling "enough". Thin enough, pretty enough, active enough, whatever it may be... I danced in a company for most of my adolescent life (ages 2-18), but then had a series of injuries that kept me from continuing. Anyway, even when I was dancing 20+ hours a week and in the best shape of my life, I'd always compare myself to the other girls and think I wasn't good enough. That I'd never be as thin, look as good in a leotard, etc. Moving in to college, I struggled even more. I never gained the freshman 15, thank goodness, but it was like the range of women to compare myself just expanded 20x over, and I wasn't coming up strong enough. I walked everywhere at university, and had a lot of time to exercise, but I never felt good enough. Now, of course, I look back at those times and wish I was as fat now as I thought I was then :0

    Obviously I've always struggled with other females and my jealousy, comparing myself to them all the time. I'm 27 and this is still something that occupies my daily thoughts. I get incredibly frustrated with people who have seemingly perfect bodies posting pictures on social media about body positivity, and I know that's not right because what I see and they see may be very different. Not to mention, people can just be happy with their bodies; if they're awesome and work hard (or don't and just got lucky), that's fine. But I always wanted to see more women like myself being body positive. At this point, I'm the thickest I've ever been. My size has fluctuated, and I vary between stores and styles but I can fall anywhere between M-XL and 6-12. It's been confusing and hard with these recent body changes, but I finally found some body positivity in my life. I struggle with depression & anxiety, and I'm a therapist full time, dealing with other people's problems, I live with my boyfriend, I deal with both of our families, I have so many other things going on in my life that deserve my full attention... and I realized that it's okay that exercise and calorie counting aren't my priorities. I have other things in my life that I find to be important and more valuable to me than being thin. I finally realized that while it's great to exercise and eat right and strive to be my best self, I want to really find ways to be HAPPY. and that stuff isn't what is going to do it for me. And as of today, I'm learning to be okay with my body as it is.
     
    BoPo Team likes this.

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