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Self-Love Recipe

Discussion in 'Body Positive Inspiration' started by jimena, Dec 14, 2016.


  1. The other day a business coach asked me: What problems do you solve?

    -Wow, what a big question- I thought.

    It comes to my mind, problems of different people that I coached, and I realized that everything was related to Self-Love.

    Yes, that is the word.

    When people have issues with their relationships, when they are talking about their bodies and how they feel about it, others are not sure about their carriers and what are they doing, women that felt lonely or incomplete when they are single, etc.

    Self- Love.
    Well, we know that there is a “problem” to solve, and we can figure it out where it comes to this “problem”, that everything is related to our beliefs.

    How do you create your beliefs?
    When you were a kid you heard a lot of things about yourself: that you are not good enough, or that you can’t dance, you are not a good speaker, your body is too fat or skinny, etc. People giving their opinion about your body, hair, intelligence, etc. etc. Lots of judgment.
    The first step is to be conscious that there is a “problem”.
    In this moment I want to explain to you why I used the quotation marks to “problem”. I prefer to see that something triggered me and I can be aware of that. On my personal life when I thought that I had a “problem”, I used to felt that something was wrong with me.

    Listen, NOTHING is wrong with YOU.
    Of course, there are beliefs that are not good for you, and there you can choose, to do something. So, what are you going to do about it?

    If you have a low self-love you have two options: first you can be mad or blame it, and you are going to stay there for a long time, the second option is to do something because nothing is immutable.

    Here I explain you the process that we go through to create our self-love. I need to say that it’s the way that I see it, this is not the truth. In my point of view, the truth doesn’t exist, everything is influenced about how we perceive it.

    1. Acceptance:
    We can deny that we and most people have a low self-love. If you notice that this happen to you, don’t fight with that, accept it, allow yourself to learn, open your body to feel your fears, feel the doubts you have about you. Maybe your self-love is related to your image, you don’t feel comfortable about your body, or your mind, you think that you aren’t intelligent enough, or prepare enough for the challenges of your life. Accept your weakness, when you go to that space, you allow yourself to accept your force. I know it´s not like you take a shake and you are going to accept completely who you are. For me, the self-love journey includes respecting my time, my process. Imagine creating your self-love journey from a space of LOVE. Don’t be hard on you, maybe you can start accepting that you are not perfect and you don’t suppose to be.

    Include compassion in your day by day.

    2. Changing beliefs:

    It´s important to say that we have a lot of influence about the society, media, publicity. What they said or repeat all the time. We can’t say that we don’t have any influence, sometimes we can’t avoid it. When we grow up, we become aware of what beliefs we support, some of them are so powerful and connect us with what we want. For example, I can have the belief that I need to work really hard to reach my goals, and that thought empowers and motivates my work. There are other beliefs that aren’t good for me like I am not good at any sport. What are the consequences of support that belief? I don’t do any sport, and for that reason, I have health issues. So, the question is:

    What are you holding on to?
    Do your thoughts make you feel at peace? or inspire you? You can select what beliefs will give you the kind of life you really want.

    3. Build your power:
    When we are aware of our behavior, we can reflect if we are proud of what we are doing. For me, it´s not a judgment. It´s not like “oh, I´ve been a good girl”. For me is to be intuitive.

    Is this behavior, letting me connect with my intention, with what I have repeatedly said that I want in my life?
    Close your eyes, and really connect with what you want, not what the society is telling you and you assume that “you have to do it” or “you have to take that decision because you are 35 years old”. No, no, no. What makes sense for you. Is the work that you do, really connected with your passion? make you smile? push you and inspire you to be the best version of yourself? Feel it, in your body. Breathe and really connect with your intuitive self. Then you can take some decisions.

    Maybe what you are thinking about right now is:
    Ok, that makes sense, but…How do I build my power?
    We don’t have one way, as different human beings that we are, we have multiple ways. Ask yourself: How do I build my power? How do I really connect with my intuitive desires? If you feel afraid of taking some decisions, maybe you need to connect with your self-confidence. You don’t have to make big decisions, you can start repeating to yourself every day as an affirmation: I deserve to be happy, and I am going to create joy in my life. Now is the time for the action. Because it´s not only what are we aware, we need to connect to the actions that we need to do daily: Our practice.

    4. Daily Practice:
    The difference to create self-love in our life and to “want to have” self-love is in what we do. This is the moment when most of the people stop or not complete the process. They want to have their self-love like they buy a pill for a headache at a pharmacy. No, it´s not so simple. Of course, that will be awesome, taking a pill and that’s it. With pros and cons, I think it’s better that require some effort. We need to include that practice as our daily rituals.
    What can you do to connect with your power every day? What affirmations can you repeat like a song that you play every single day because it inspires you to dance with freedom or passion? What type of food can you eat because it brings you lots of energy? What can you journal to focus on a loving mindset?

    Yes, it involves a lot of commitment. It is like a powerful breakfast that you take every day because it nourishes you in a special way.

    5. Love yourself: New relationship
    How many times I heard: I don’t like my body, my shape, my face, my work, my relationships, etc.
    I would say, that there is a lot of suffering related to our body, image, perfectionism, that is connected with our beliefs. Lately, I have been reading a lot about body image, body positive, testimonials, etc. So many suffer in this world about the relation that we have with our body versus what we think we supposed to look or be or have.
    What do you think is the big problem? We have a lot of structures of how we supposed to act, or behave. How we should look, how much money that we need to received, etc., etc. It’s a reality that we have a lot of assumptions about ourselves, that generate guilt or blame, influenced by the publicity about how we need to look, to feel, to be, etc.
    I think we are not creating the engage that people need, that we need. Ok, we lack confidence, yeah, we’ve got it.
    So what can we do about it?
    Definitely, we know that they are manipulating us, and we repeat that we don’t like that, that we don’t need any approval, but I feel that in some way we believe it. We love “likes”, “heart” reactions, we love that stuff, and I am not talking like I don’t. I listened to myself saying: oh, I have 400 “likes” in the picture of my degree, and then I thought what happen to me? Yes, I know that we repeat constantly that doesn’t matter, that we are free, but we care, yes I know we care.
    So, I was thinking what can we do about it? What can we do to don’t feel awful when we gain some weight or don’t receive every applause?

    I think we need to be sincere, we care about that. Ok, but we don’t need to feel bad about it, maybe the issue is that we can accept that we care a little bit, and it’s not bad. Ok, we care, so?
    A journey to create our self-love is also to love my inconsistency, that sometimes I can be incoherent, that sometimes I´ve got mad at silly things, that some days I don’t love my curves. It´s ok. My self-love journey is to choose to love myself no matter what. No matter if I failed, no matter if I am in a grumpy day, or stressed. I love myself and I am going to still practice, choosing me, and walking in this process. My message is to choose yourself no matter what, you are not perfect, no one is. Do the rituals that let you love yourself, in those days too.
    If your loving practice is going to your Yoga, and you feel today that your body is not aligned. What can you do today to create your self-love? Maybe taking a special bath, or doing an auto massage, whispering beautiful words. What can be your love practice for today?

    Choose LOVE in every single moment.
    That is my practice, I am still working on.

     

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    BoPo Team and Corinne Santiago like this.

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