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To be a mermaid...

Discussion in 'Body Positive Inspiration' started by The Mermaid Marissa, Jan 17, 2017.

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Do you believe creating magical moments is important in life?

  1. Yes

    3 vote(s)
    100.0%
  2. No

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. My beautiful college friend Corinne told me about this wonderful place and asked me to share my story...

    I grew up as a dancer and was always ashamed I was never as beautiful or thin as the other girls. I grew up tall and curvy even from the start... but my legs were strong. No matter how many plie's I did they weren't going anywhere and it took me a long time to realize I couldn't just shrink away the muscle I had grown or the thickness of my legs. My legs have always rubbed together.. no matter what size I have been... size 2-14 fluctuating my whole life.. At a young age I felt I was huge and fat because of the smaller girls around me.

    In high school I finally felt beautiful in my own skin, which is insane to think about now being as it is one of the most stressful times... It wasn't until I had been cheated on for the first time that I felt like there was something seriously wrong with me.. I felt like a huge bad bitch... like I was both mentally and physically unstable. Because I was big (or I felt big) I was also a crazy person... for wanting to be treated with respect and to have friends who wouldn't talk behind my back. I guess all the self-love I was promoting caught up with me... I wasn't all that great. I shouldn't be confident. I shouldn't think I'm beautiful.

    In college I got loads of attention for being a tall actress from the woods (since most of my classmates were from the city.) I was slowly loving my body again... There were the little things... I started to dance again and find a love for the ocean and sciences, which I had felt to dumb for in high school. Higher learning was too hard for me.... I was never going to be a successful scientist (or so I was told in grade school..) so why try??

    But I did try. And I loved it.

    And then my mother passed away. At 19 I know I am not even close to being the youngest person to lose their mother. Her death was coming for years and the whole family knew it. It did not make it any less worse to know the end was near. One of my greatest friends told me during this time "You are allowed to feel how you feel" and to this day I tell myself and those around me those words. I was allowed to feel small, and weak and sad about my mother passing. I had to let myself grieve. I found myself delving into my solo performance work and writing more and more. I wanted to sew and create things, maybe it was because it was something my mother did. She loved to sew. I found myself falling into the world of cosplay and costuming.

    IMG_3032.jpg
    (^Me as Daenerys Targaryen)

    I don't remember the first time I told myself I was going to be a mermaid...Or what even inspired me? I mean like most people, I grew up wanting to be a mermaid and would play constantly in my grandfathers pool pretending to be Ariel.....

    I probably saw one of Hannah Mermaid's videos on Youtube and was like... damn that is amazingly beautiful, she is helping the environment, and she is creating art that makes change. (If you haven't checked her out you should.. she is amazing and a true talent.)

    For over a year a did research on how to make tails and I was super nervous to event attempt the art that is mermaiding. I went swimming in the ocean in Italy for a study abroad program and the locals called me "sirena" because I swam really well and I had blue and pink in my hair (they probably called me beta fish more than sirena.) This fueled me to connect more with the ocean as much as I could.

    557551_512599032089353_1221740680_n.jpg
    (^Italy.. i feel like a lioness in this XD)

    I sewed my first tail out of spandex I got at the Spandex Warehouse in NYC. It was blue. My first swim was pure joy. I was swimming with my cousin Anu and we had a blast. It seems so silly to think that putting on a mermaid tail would be so freeing.

    From that day on I knew I wanted a silicone tail.. that is what most mermaids have. (You can look on Mernetwork to find awesome tutorials on how to create your own.... this is how I learned.) It took me about 4 months to create the tail seen in the picture. It is super heavy on land... in the water however, it is weightless. My legs are always touching anyway so why not put myself in a tail and swim about.

    The best parts about being a mermaid are the animals and the experiences I have had so far. I am far from being a real full-time mermaid. I have friends who work only as a mermaid and they are so incredibly talented and work hard for their dream. I've worked mostly as a volunteer at exploration centers and aquariums and for the mermaid company I am apart of. The best part is seeing young kids come up to me and ask me about my tail. They don't care if I am curvy or if my skin or hair isn't perfect. They see a mermaid. Something magical. And even if it is for just an instant that they believe it, it can be truly powerful. I have helped organizations with recycling and teaching others about ocean acidification. I hope along with that I have inspired other thick-thighed girls and boys to not care that their legs rub together with every step. I hope that someone out there has seen me and thought it is okay to try new and weird things. It is okay to say "hey... I am beautiful."

    160810_MarissaMermaid_Edited-16.jpg
    (^by far my favorite picture of me and my tail)

    I don't feel beautiful every day. In fact there are days where I feel lousy and don't want to get out of bed. I am constantly working to be a stronger version of myself. I am happy in my skin most days. I have amazing friends and a partner who loves me and all my curves and scars.

    So why not try and be your wildest dreams? I try and be the person little me would've thought was so rad and so cool that she wanted to dress like her. So I guess that is why I became a mermaid <3
     
    BoPo Team, Kimmy and Corinne Santiago like this.
  2. Wow!!!!!!!!!!!! This is awesome!!!!!!

    Marissa!!!! This is such a unique, thoughtful and inspiring story you thankfully shared with us all.

    What resonates with me the most is the fact that you did something you wanted to do without worry about judgements or ridicule. More people should be like you but they aren't as strong as you are!

    I worse a onesie at Xmass eve while everyone was dressed up and loved it! My house, my party, my choice!!!!

    All I ask is you NEVER change!!!!!!!!!

    Welcome to our amazing community and congratulations on having a kick ass friend like Corinne!
     
    Corinne Santiago likes this.
  3. Have I told you lately that I love you?
    That is all.
     
    BoPo Team likes this.

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