What defines you?
It’s an interesting question isn’t it? For some of us, one that comes with a lot of conflicting thoughts and feelings.
Many of us want what defines us to be the best parts of us, the things we cherish and feel great about, I know I do. The unfortunate part though, is that what defines us in reality tends to be the things we don’t feel so great about.
The things that we have heard so often, they become our truth and who we believe we are.
Too fat, too thin, too tall, too short.
These are the things so many of us hear over and over and it starts to feel like this is all we are.
A combination of traits that don’t fit what is “right” and the result is a constant cycle of trying to achieve something unrealistic, most of which never actually gets us there.
I have been there, and continue to fight my way through this internal conflict more than I’d like to admit.
When I think about this question…what defines me, I realize it is mostly the things that I have spent my life thus far trying to change or make disappear.
What has changed?
I realized that the only way to change what defines me is to start with what I believe.
There is an amazing energy and power in seeing people work toward self-acceptance and self-love no matter where they fall on the “ideal human being” spectrum.
To reclaim control and power over your own life by saying, this is who I am and despite others thoughts I am worthy…that is redefining.
It is a constant struggle when you live in a world where worthiness is very one-dimensional but you control what you pay attention to and re-enforce.
I promise you, the journey through self-hatred to self-compassion is one that can be life altering.
Choose to see the beauty and strength in yourself as well as others because we all have it and it’s the only real, true path to happiness.
As for some concrete practical ways to start making this happen, here are some things I have found to be helpful through my own process.
- Clean up your social media and get rid of anything that perpetuates the unrealistic beauty ideals society places on us.
- Flood your feeds with positive, uplifting people who promote self-love and healthy growth.
- Practice self compassion, which is most important when your feeling bad or negative just as much as positive.
You can learn more about this idea at selfcompassion.org
Start making time for practices in your life that promote self love and overall wellness.
Whether it’s journaling, mindfulness practices, therapy, yoga…there’s lots of ways to feel good in your mind, body and soul and crucial!
Find a network! There are other people out there striving for this same way of life, trust me, you just have to find them!
The journey is truly one day and one moment at a time, and you won’t always get it right!
You’ll slip back into old ways of thinking and have days where you just can’t get yourself there.
Know that it is ok, and awareness is truly the first step to a process that is anything but linear. Every obstacle and lesson will be worth it in the end!